Conversation with embassies

tut.. tutt....

ER1 : Diessist di Botschaft von....... Wenn Sie nachtsdiemolikeit für Sie fragen ollenfon diessemhachscheu rauscheschmisschen schu stossen Sie Zahl 1. Wenn Sie ummidiverlaangerung von Ihrer ollenfon diessemhachscheu rauscheschmisschen schu stossen Sie Zahl 2. Wenn Sie wissen wollen wenn Sie einevischumbrauchenwerden schugewisschem schuigehen stossen Sie Zahl 3.........

after 20 minutes...

ME : Good morning. I would like to have 3-days to spend money in your country next month and I want to know if I would need a special permit for this.

ER2: What kind of permit allowing you to sit-and-wander-around at your current residence?

ME: It's a semi-permanent residence permit, meaning I have 4 years before being kicked-out. And since you are all in the Union Treaty, if I can make a mess here, I can also make a mess there, right?

ER2: Of course, we are becoming border-less. However, where are you come from?

upss... now comes the real problem

ME: from Indonesia

ER2: In that case, you need to convince us that you will be spending money in a proper manner here. You need to presence yourself at the embassy, bringing your original and true passport, a letter stating your legal monthly income, a letter from your employer stating that they'll not fire you after having fun in our country, and an invitation letter from somebody in our country whom we can blame at whenever you make a mess. Oh, and don't forget 2 close-up photos of your current face, taken from specific angle and your face must have a size of 1.5 by 2 cm. We want to make sure we see all the details.

ME: I am a good guy, but nobody will invite me to your country.

ER2: Then you have to prove that you won't be sleeping at the station or in the street. Please bring to us a hotel-booking confirmation, fully paid so you can't run away. We don't accept confirmation letter by fax or email though, that's too easy to be forged. It has to be sent by mail from the hotel to you, and we will re-double-confirm by calling the hotel also, just to make sure guys, since you're so clever.

ME: Okay. Now I want to make appointment...........

tut... tutt... tuuttt...

Oh, shit! How come...... SHIT!!! It's 2 Euro/min!!!!
Now, today is Friday, I can't get out from this office until 6 p.m. and by that time the shop would have been closed. Arrgh, why did I buy this cheap number from that supermarket. Now everytime I have to go there to recharge my phone-credit!
So, okay...... hghh... so, I'll call again on Monday to make appointment.


Monday afternoon, another embassy

tut..tutt....

ER2: Good afternoon, what can I do for you?

ME: (*shock...) oops... erghh.... is this a machine or a person?

ER2: ??

ME: Sorry. I want to go for a few days trip to your country next 2 months. And I want to ask if I would need a special permit for this since I am currently staying at this country you see, your friend, and you are in that society.....

ER2: hah?? what society??

ME: Sorry, I meant Treaty

ER2: Where are you come from?

again...

ME: Indonesia

ER2: In that case, we can draw a line, and you have to ask for permission before crossing the border. Please send us your original passport, hotel-booking confirmation, and 2 close-up photos.

ME: Does my face have to be 1.5x2 cm in the photo?

ER2: No, just your most recent face.

ME: And I don't have to go to your office by myself?

ER2: No

ME: Don't you want to know how much I earn here, and how long I will have this job, in case I can't afford my trip to your country and have to sell handycrafts on the beach to compensate my expense?

ER2: No

ME: (*shock again...) You must be kidding!!


# ER1 = embassy's representative 1 = answering machine
# ER2 = embassy's representative 2 = the telephone operator


*1. based on personal experiences

*2. Especially for a friend, who, driving an air-conditioned car in Jakarta, complained a lot (I mean, for several years.....) about how irresponsible people in the street, in trucks, in motorcycles, and in general. Who also like to make a statement "underestimating" (this is purely my personal opinion. Of course, my responsible friend, you wouldn't think so!) bus and truck drivers. In foreign countries, we are all regarded the same: a potentially illegal cheap worker. And indeed, we are all workers :-)